What Does 'Dating' Mean? 89.5% Say 'Confession Is Necessary,' Top Condition for Romantic Relationships Is 'Mutual Affection Confirmed' (Happymail Survey)

Recently, especially among Gen Z youth, we increasingly hear voices of people who are not proactive about romantic relationships.

In this context, many people likely have questions when they consider starting a relationship—such as 'How do you become a couple?', 'Is confession necessary to start dating?', or 'What does it even mean to date someone?'

Therefore, 'Happymail (Happy),' a dating and matchmaking app and service operated by Aibec Corporation (headquartered in Fukuoka City, Fukuoka Prefecture) with over 35 million cumulative users (※1) (https://happymail.co.jp/), conducted a survey targeting 200 adult men and women with dating experience regarding what it means to 'date.'

※1: As of June 2024

This survey collected responses on:

● Experience of being in an ambiguous relationship (unsure if dating)

● Moments when one feels 'we are dating'

● Whether confession is necessary to become a couple

● How romantic relationships typically begin

● Essential conditions for establishing a romantic relationship

This press release reveals how adult men and women define 'dating' and the conditions under which a romantic relationship is considered established.

▼ Special Survey Results Page

https://happymail.co.jp/happylife/definition/dating-meaning-example/

1. Over half of both men and women have experienced being in an ambiguous relationship

[Have you ever been in a relationship where you were unsure if you were dating a person you liked? (n=200)] Yes: 52 men, 60 women / No: 48 men, 60 women

When asked whether they had ever been in a relationship where they were unsure if they were dating someone they liked, 52 men and 60 women answered 'yes.'

Combined, 112 people—56.0% of all respondents—reported having experienced an 'ambiguous relationship.'

Women (60.0%) showed a slightly higher rate than men (52.0%).

[Breakdown (number of respondents)]

● Men: Yes 52 / No 48

● Women: Yes 60 / No 40

2. Key moments when people feel 'we are dating' include 'confirmation of mutual affection,' 'routine communication,' and 'physical intimacy'

Adult men and women with dating experience were asked in an open-ended format: 'When do you feel that you are “dating” someone?'

Analysis of responses revealed three main trends: 'confirming mutual affection,' 'dating and communication becoming part of daily life,' and 'engaging in physical intimacy such as holding hands or kissing.'

2-1. Mutual confirmation of affection

[Selected open-ended responses]

When we honestly tell each other 'I like you' (male)

When we clearly confirm our feelings for each other (female)

When we express mutual affection by saying 'I like you' and feel we truly care for each other (female)

Responses indicate that verbally expressing feelings like 'I like you' is a major trigger for feeling like a couple.

Beyond mere affection, confirming each other's feelings brings a sense of security and specialness.

2-2. Dating and communication becoming part of daily life

[Selected open-ended responses]

When we started going on dates frequently (male)

When we naturally began making date plans with each other (male)

When we are in daily contact (female)

Many respondents also linked routine dates and regular communication to feeling like they are in a romantic relationship.

Rather than special events, the accumulation of everyday interactions—such as 'naturally making plans to meet' or 'exchanging messages daily'—appears to foster the recognition of being a couple.

2-3. Physical intimacy as a trigger for feeling like a couple

[Selected open-ended responses]

When we hold hands while dating (male)

When we hold hands or link arms (male)

When there is physical intimacy such as holding hands or kissing (female)

Many responses mentioned physical intimacy like holding hands, linking arms, or kissing.

Beyond words, physical communication unique to romantic partners appears to strengthen the feeling of 'being in a relationship.'

3. 89.5% believe 'confession is necessary' to become a couple

[Do you think confession is necessary to become a couple? (n=200)] Yes: 84 men, 95 women / No: 16 men, 5 women

When asked whether confession is necessary to enter a romantic relationship, 84 men and 95 women answered 'yes.'

Combined, 179 respondents—89.5% of the total—believe confession is necessary.

Notably, 95.0% of women answered 'yes,' indicating a strong desire to verbally confirm the relationship.

[Breakdown (number of respondents)]

● Men: Yes 84 / No 16

● Women: Yes 95 / No 5

3-1. Those who believe 'confession is necessary' prioritize 'clarifying the relationship'

[Selected open-ended responses]

Without verbal confirmation, even an intimate relationship can blur the line between 'close friends' and 'convenient relationships' (male)

I think confession is necessary to prevent falling into a 'convenient relationship' (female)

If a relationship continues ambiguously, it's easy to end up with a mismatch where 'I thought we were dating, but only I felt that way' (female)

Many who answered 'confession is necessary' emphasized the importance of clarifying the relationship.

Particularly, the desire to 'avoid ambiguity' and 'prevent misunderstandings about mutual expectations' was prominent, showing a preference for verbal confirmation when starting a romantic relationship.

3-2. Those who believe 'confession is unnecessary' prioritize 'the relationship itself'

[Selected open-ended responses]

You can somehow sense mutual affection through the atmosphere (male)

If we treat each other as special and naturally maintain a partner-like relationship, it can work without verbal confirmation (male)

In adult relationships, I believe the time spent together and how we treat each other matter more than saying 'let's date' (female)

On the other hand, those who answered 'confession is unnecessary' emphasized valuing the relationship itself over words.

A certain number of respondents believe mutual feelings can be confirmed through daily communication and interactions.

However, since nearly 90% overall answered 'confession is necessary,' the majority prefer clear verbal expression when starting a romantic relationship.

4. Main triggers for starting a romantic relationship: 'confession,' 'workplace/hobbies,' and 'friendship'

Adult men and women with dating experience were asked in an open-ended format how they started dating their current or past partners.

Analysis of responses revealed three main patterns: 'relationships that developed after a confession,' 'relationships that deepened through work or hobbies,' and 'relationships that evolved from friendship.'