55.0% Have Experienced Their Crush Liking Someone Else | 27.5% Approached Anyway, 15.0% Ended Up in a Relationship: Happymail Survey

When you find out the person you like has feelings for someone else, many people struggle with whether to keep pursuing them or step back.

Therefore, Happymail (Happy), a dating and relationship-matching app and service operated by Aibec Co., Ltd. (headquartered in Fukuoka City, Fukuoka Prefecture) with over 35 million cumulative users (※1) (https://happymail.co.jp/), conducted a survey targeting 200 adult men and women, as well as 200 adults who have experienced liking someone who already liked another person. The survey focused on "actions taken when someone you like has feelings for someone else."

※1: As of June 2024

This survey collected and analyzed responses on:

● Whether respondents knew their crush liked someone else

● Subsequent actions taken

● Specific approaches used

● How unrequited feelings were let go

● The resulting relationships

This press release reveals the actions taken by men and women upon learning their crush liked someone else, as well as the nature of their subsequent relationships.

▼ Special Survey Results Page

https://happymail.co.jp/happylife/unrequited-love/crush-likes-someone/

1. 55.0% Knew Their Crush Liked Someone Else

[Experience of knowing one's crush liked someone else (n=200)]: Yes: 58 men, 52 women / No: 42 men, 48 women

When asked whether adult men and women (n=200) had ever known that someone they liked had feelings for another person, 58 men and 52 women answered "Yes."

Combined, this totals 110 people, meaning 55.0% of respondents had this experience.

[Breakdown (number of respondents)]:

● Men: Yes: 58 / No: 42

● Women: Yes: 52 / No: 48

Next, respondents who answered "Yes" were asked to freely describe their feelings upon learning their crush liked someone else. The following responses were received:

[Selected Free Responses]:

I felt deeply disappointed and started feeling inadequate for not being the one they liked. (Male)

I was filled with regret and sadness. (Male)

It was shocking, but I believed a chance would come eventually. (Male)

Since they weren’t married, I decided not to give up and keep pursuing them. (Female)

It was shocking, but I figured it couldn’t be helped, so I decided to look for my next romance. (Female)

I decided to focus on self-improvement so they might notice me, even just a little. (Female)

Responses frequently expressed shock and sadness, such as "I felt down" or "It was disappointing."

At the same time, there were also positive responses like "I believed a chance would come," "I decided not to give up and keep pursuing them," and "I decided to work on self-improvement," showing some chose to take proactive steps.

Learning that someone you like has feelings for another person is a painful experience. However, people respond in various ways—some shift their focus, while others persist in trying to grow closer without giving up.

2. 27.5% Approached Despite Knowing Their Crush Liked Someone Else

[Experience of approaching despite knowing one's crush liked someone else (n=200)]: Approached: 34 men, 21 women / Did nothing: 31 men, 42 women / Gave up: 35 men, 37 women

When asked about their subsequent actions, 55 out of 200 adults who had experienced liking someone who liked another person answered they "approached" them.

This represents 27.5% overall, showing that about 3 in 10 people took action without giving up.

Meanwhile, 73 people answered they "did nothing," and 72 answered they "gave up," indicating that not everyone chooses to act proactively when their crush likes someone else.

[Breakdown (number of respondents)]:

● Approached: 34 men / 21 women

● Did nothing: 31 men / 42 women

● Gave up: 35 men / 37 women

3. Approaches to a One-Sided Crush: "Expressing Affection," "Initiating Contact," "Building a Friendship"

When those who approached despite knowing their crush liked someone else were asked about their specific methods in a free-response format, the following main tendencies emerged:

3-1. Directly Expressing Affection

[Selected Free Responses]:

I kept complimenting them and subtly showing my affection. (Male)

I directly told them, "I would cherish you more than they do." (Male)

I gave them handmade chocolates on Valentine’s Day to hint at my feelings. (Female)

Some respondents chose not to hide their feelings and openly expressed affection.

Even when knowing the person liked someone else, some tried to make their presence known through words and actions.

3-2. Initiating Contact or Inviting to Meals

[Selected Free Responses]:

I started with LINE messages to gradually become closer. (Male)

I invited them to dinner, talked about various things, and gradually closed the gap between us. (Male)

I frequently sent LINE messages to deepen our connection. (Female)

Some respondents mentioned gradually closing the distance through LINE exchanges or dinner invitations.

There is a tendency for people to deepen their relationship through repeated daily communication.

3-3. Establishing a Friend Position

[Selected Free Responses]:

I positioned myself as their friend, always ready to listen to their worries and complaints. (Male)

I consciously tried to get closer as a friend, aligning with their hobbies and topics of conversation. (Female)

I aimed for a friend position and earnestly listened to their concerns. (Female)

Rather than immediately aiming for a romantic relationship, some tried to build trust as a friend first.

Actions such as offering support, sharing interests, and engaging in relevant topics show an effort to become a reassuring presence for the other person.

4. Ways of Letting Go of Unrequited Love: "Focusing on Non-Romantic Interests," "Seeking New Encounters," "Creating Distance"

When people who gave up on their crush were asked how they managed their feelings, the following responses were received:

4-1. Focusing Attention Elsewhere

[Selected Free Responses]:

I started dedicating more time to work and hobbies. (Male)

I decided to focus on self-improvement and spent more time on beauty routines. (Female)

I immersed myself in other hobbies to stop thinking about that person. (Female)

Some respondents said they organized their feelings by spending time on work, hobbies, or self-improvement.

4-2. Seeking New Encounters

[Selected Free Responses]:

I actively looked for new relationships and removed that person from my list of romantic interests. (Male)

I actively sought new encounters, hoping to find someone better than them. (Female)

I used dating apps or asked friends for introductions to find new connections. (Female)

Some tried to end their unrequited feelings positively by turning their attention to new romances.

Some respondents mentioned using dating apps or asking friends for introductions as steps toward finding their next relationship.

4-3. Creating Distance from the Person

[Selected Free Responses]:

I stopped contacting them and avoided seeing them. (Male)

I made a conscious effort to avoid contact, kept my distance, and allowed time