Do We Really Need to Stay Connected All the Time? TikTok Creator Shares Solo Living Routine, Sparking Global Resonance

On a Friday night, a young woman returns to her apartment after a tiring day at work. She walks into her spotless kitchen, unpacks groceries, opens a frozen pizza, and places it in the oven. Then follows a mundane yet almost meditative evening routine: lighting a candle, gazing briefly at the snow-covered view outside, serving a pre-made salad alongside the pizza, and sitting on the sofa to eat dinner while watching TV. The video is captioned: "POV: You're a childfree, single, friendless woman living alone—this is your Friday night."

This TikTok video, viewed over 7 million times, features Lana Isa, a 20-something software sales manager based in Toronto. Beyond documenting her nightly self-care rituals, she takes her nearly 400,000 TikTok and Instagram followers on late-night fast-food drives, reading on lakeside rocks, and even recounts being locked out of her apartment at night.

Isa belongs to a growing yet still niche online community. In it, many creators—mostly women—share their daily rituals of solo living, deliberately showcasing a lifestyle that prioritizes peace and solitude, in stark contrast to the over-the-top social media performances.

For Isa, "no friends" isn't just a video tagline—it's a "reality" she's lived with for years.

Alone, but not lonely

After multiple school transfers, university isolation due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and moving across the country after her first breakup, Isa found herself adapting to life without close friends.

"People rarely talk about not having friends... I think many still see it as embarrassing or somewhat taboo," she says.

When she began sharing her friendless life on social media, she gradually attracted an audience that resonated deeply. Her TikTok following, which started at around 2,000, grew to over 175,000 in just eight months.

"Seeing others living the same way I do was eye-opening... and made me feel like I was finally able to connect with others again."

And people did resonate. Isa's comment sections quickly filled with users sharing similar experiences—talking about living alone or feeling friendless—and finding comfort in being "seen."

But as with most online trends, curiosity soon turned to backlash. Isa and similar creators were labeled "loneliness influencers," portrayed as part of an emerging group: crisis-stricken, depressed, lonely, childless women.

Others accused them of romanticizing self-isolation and fostering an "aesthetic of comfortable defeatism" by deliberately avoiding social connection.

Yet the lifestyle depicted in their videos may be closer to reality than many care to admit. These women go on solo dates, embark on spontaneous road trips, and even overcome the awkwardness of attending parties alone.

Destigmatizing loneliness

For Devon Noehring, a full-time content creator and self-described introvert based in Phoenix, Arizona, seeing her weekend of cooking at home and relaxing with her dog reduced to a symptom of female loneliness felt "frustrating."

"It's the complete opposite of why we make these videos," she says. "I really hate the stereotype that equates being alone with loneliness."

Though Noehring has close friends, she says she grew up feeling "ashamed" for being a quiet, socially anxious girl.

Only after openly sharing her anxieties online did she discover a community of introverted followers who deeply related to her struggles.

"When I'm alone, I feel most free and most like myself. That's how I recharge. And I'm incredibly proud of my independence and my ability to do things on my own... I think that's something worth celebrating."

Some health researchers have long worked to destigmatize "loneliness," distinguishing between those who feel chronically isolated due to circumstances and those who autonomously choose to live and spend time alone.

Professor Melody Ding, an epidemiologist at the University of Sydney studying social connection and loneliness, says: "Everyone feels lonely at some point in life, but some people are unwilling to admit it. This can create a false expectation that you must always feel socially happy and connected."

But she warns that while influencers may portray solitude as "very attractive," humans still need social connection; prolonged deep isolation can harm mental and physical health.

"We are a social species," Ding says. "We live better when we have companionship and others around us."

She acknowledges that social needs vary across life stages but hopes those who've lost relationships can eventually move past the "no friends" label and build new social connections.

"Having relationships in life is important, and the positive impact these relationships bring—nourishing our lives—is equally important."

We just want to find people who resonate

Even in moments of loneliness, these women say loneliness doesn't define them, nor do they wish to be friendless forever.

"We never describe ourselves as lonely," says SJ Hoadley, a cleaner in the UK who began documenting her solo life after seeing Isa's videos. "I feel like sometimes, my lack of friends seems to bother the people around me more than it bothers me."

After ending a seven-year abusive relationship, she moved to a place where she knew no one, having to rebuild her life from scratch.

Though initially "shocked," she gradually began to "enjoy and embrace that independence" and "learn to be comfortable with myself."

In a social media ecosystem that constantly pushes idealized lifestyles and fuels FOMO (fear of missing out), Dr. Anne Oeldorf-Hirsch, a University of Connecticut researcher specializing in online community formation, says the rise of solo-living creators serves as validation for those who see themselves in this lifestyle.

"For a long time, people have grown increasingly resentful of social media's constant display of perfect lives and highlight reels," she says.

Oeldorf-Hirsch believes the popularity of solitude-themed content lies in its ability to meet both creators' and audiences' social needs, offering a "balance" in an environment dominated by highly curated influencer culture.

"We seem to be shifting toward creators who are more authentic and live their real lives," she says. "We just want to find people we can resonate with."

Hoadley's follower count sometimes jumps by tens of thousands in a single day, while Noehring's videos have amassed millions of views across platforms.

Hoadley says the online connections give her hope for eventually finding a "small group of best friends." Noehring hopes to host a real-world meetup for this online community. Isa says viewer support has given her the "push" to reconsider making friends.

"I think the real message all this content wants to convey is: find your own path," Hoadley says. "Life doesn't have to fit the one-size-fits-all model that social media constantly sells us."

This article was translated with AI assistance from its original English version. The content was reviewed by BBC journalists before publication.